Relationships are something I get asked about a lot, I love the messages I get saying #couplegoals or “how did you and your husband meet, I can’t believe how much you do for each other? He does what!? “I love hearing this, not in a conceited way but because I am proud of our relationship. We aren’t perfect but we are perfect for each other and we work at because we don’t want to settle for a life less than anything amazing. We have overcome so many things that break people apart because we both choose to. We both know this relationship isn’t one sided.
Now rewind to BJ - okay okay, I mean BJ as in before Josh. I had been through it all, years of being single at weddings, bad dates, not ever feeling “that feeling” but believing in love, this all while trying to overcome my past trauma and navigating through “the rules” of dating. I am getting exhausted just talking about it!
I didn’t meet Josh (my soulmate) until I starting focusing on me first. I stopped listening to other people and I only focused on myself, I dug in deep, figured out what I wanted, went to therapy, talked to other people who lived life the way I wanted to live. Stopped listening to the advice from people who were not in situations that I wanted to be and I became obsessed with figuring out how to live the life that made me happiest. I am proud of the woman I became before the universe brought Josh into my life. I needed that time alone and I needed those qualities I built to navigate through the years ahead. Sometimes it feels like people forget that is the rest of your life. Why settle now and pay later?
Relationships aren't one sided and while we often focus on what only we want, we forget that there is another half of the ship. During the time I was focusing on myself I decide to write down exactly what my perfect relationship looked like. That’s it? YES. Write it down, be specific and the let that sh*t go. I met Josh 4 months after I did this exact exercise. What I realized later that I didn’t know then was by doing this I told the Universe what I wanted and the type of partner I would be and they did the hard work, while I just let go and let God. Funny thing is I never looked at my sheet again, I just knew what I wrote down and I found my sheet 2 years later when Josh and I were moving into our first apartment together. It seems to disappear and reappear into my life. I found it a second time 4 years later when we moved out of our first place together. I love looking at it now because I feel like the Universe brought me exactly word for word what I asked for. Josh and I still do this exercise every year, we just keep creating our perfect relationship and sharing with each other so that we are creating together. So single or not this is something that everyone can do. Josh and I get very specific now, from where we travel, how often, how much money we have, the people we help together, our sex life, when we have kids and exactly what we do to light each other up. We recently went to the Tony Robbins event and he had everyone doing a similar worksheet, it was crazy because there were most of the room that had never done anything like that together. We watched as they shared and cried and grew together. Feeling lucky that we make our relationship a priority to constantly grow, make things funs and learn together - creating the exact life WE want.
I want you to do the same so that’s why I am sharing this with you! You deserve YOUR best life( not hers, or her or hers over there!) YOURS. Start creating it now by getting clear on what you want and asking for it.